The Differences Between a Lady and a Cowgirl

A lady never spits; a cowgirl can hit the 3" gap between the skid steer frame and loader bucket.

A lady gets pedicures; a cowgirl makes sure to wash her feet before bedtime.

A lady perspires; a cowgirl sweats... and is okay with that.

A lady never swears; a cowgirl can cuss you out and still make you feel loved with the addition of that one little phrase:  "Bless your heart".

A lady is always perfectly coifed; a cowgirl can and will use anything available to hold her hair back out of her face.  A clean sock, a zip-tie, even a bucket strap will do... and she'll look good in it. 

A lady worries about the perfection of her make-up; a cowgirl just makes sure her face is clean before she makes a run to the John Deere dealer or the grain elevator. 

A lady hires a pet psychologist to find out why her pedigreed bit of fluff seems filled with ennui; a cowgirl can needle a bloating calf, drench it with corn oil and have it on the road to recovery in 15 minutes or less.

A lady swoons at the sight of blood; a cowgirl can shove her arm up a cow's hoo-hoo to the armpit and turn a calf the right way around so it can be born.

A lady knows which fork to use for which dinner course; a cowgirl knows which fork to use for which barn chore.  3-tine fork for forking hay and spreading straw, 4-tine fork for cow manure, 5-tine fork for horse manure, and silage fork for pig manure.

A lady worries about what people think of her; a cowgirl lets people think what they want, secure in her knowledge of herself as the true embodiment of everything that's wonderful about being female. 

Making cookies with this child

I love as if my own

And while we’re busy having fun

He slips and calls me “Mom”

 

I act as if I didn’t hear

Or that he didn’t say it

I turn away and wash a bowl

So my tears will not betray it

 

The one word that my heart longs most

To hear, well, it just did

But it only brings up memories

That would be best left hid

 

And so I blink away the tears

That would only just confuse him

He’d want to know, and ask me “Why?”

And I never can refuse him

 

I answer questions all day long

Like why the sky is blue

Where does the sun go after dark

Do dogs have belly buttons too?

 

But how could I tell this sweet child

That sometimes life’s not fair

That we don’t always get our wish

No matter how we care

 

So I will let him think for just

A little while yet

That life is rosy, fair and sweet

And your fondest wish, you get.